Essay Time for Changes

The main subject that my family continually pressures me is always about my education. To be honest, most Asian families pressure their children about their education. Their families want them to enter the top ranked colleges, such as the top universities, or the top private colleges. They want them to be doctors, dentists, engineers, or any high-paying occupations. They want their children to be financially successful, not successful in life. To increase that success, our families invest their time drilling our heads with occupations and with focusing on our education above our limit. To make matters worst, families also compare their children to other families' children as well. As their children, their hopes and dreams, we want to please our families by doing what they want us to do. Because we were constantly drilled to believe that top universities and top classes are the only way to succeed, we receive major pressure to make changes in our lives to accomplish our family's dream. We believe what can be acceptable to be actually terrible. The pressure changes our mindset and the changes we believe are the correct choices, or the wrong choices , even if they are truly not.

I was raised in a family whose main focus is education- mostly my education. Everyday I would- actually I still do, hear from my family to do well in school, to do better, to excel in classes. I understand their concern, but "to do better" hits me because I understand it as "you are not putting enough effort." Along with that, the U.C. system is also a top priority in my family as well. There is a very high expectation when I went through high school. I was expected to join all honors and advanced classes. Unfortunately, I did not join alot of those classes. I received many lectures (I actually mean arguments) from my family about not joining those type of classes. At the same time, I was compared to my cousin, whom entered U.C. Davis, and how intelligent he is compared to me. I know they meant better, but I felt like I was not good enough. I continued to work with more effort, especially when college applications arrived. Unfortunately, no universities accepted me. A state college did accepted me, San Jose State University. It was such a relieving feeling for me. This state university had had my interest for a long time. I'd rejected them. Even during the whole crisis of over admittance and being accepted again, I had rejected them. I did not accepted SJSU because I felt that I could do even better, even if the school I had rejected could be the one for me. Instead, I chose to go to community college to gain access to a university (no offense to community colleges!). Everyone is happy with me to try to go for the U.C. path once again. I however, seem not to be.

With all the high expectations, the comparison from other familes' children, and all the lectures, pressure can no doubt change what people believe is acceptable or not. People may think that it is unnatural that someone is crying about getting a 3.5 GPA, but to that person, a 3.5 could be a 2.5, or even lower then that. Getting into a state university can be a terrible outcome for those whose dreams of being accepted into the top universities the first time. We change to succeed for our family. As much as we want to believe in that, we change for others, not for ourselves.

Reminder for "Changes"

Remind yourself Andrew, what are you writing about? How are you formatting it? What is the bare minimum.

Does anything need to change now for that to happen? What are you doing now to ensure you get there? The essay should be minimally three paragraphs, five sentences per paragraph: an introduction, a body and a conclusion, with a clearly stated thesis. Make certain each paragraph has a topic sentence and that the topic sentence relates back to the thesis. Use examples, facts, short anecdotes, dialogue, statistics, definitions, analogies, and/or consequences, to expand, illustrate, and elucidate, your point. Put a title on the essay. Type it double-spaced, standard font, no italics. Read Diana Hacker: Planning to help you organize your thoughts and plan your essay. Bring your textbooks to class next week.

From Professor Wanda Sabir's Blogspot (http://professorsabirsposse.blogspot.com/)

Outline Essay "Changes"

Thesis
+pressure may make you commit to some changes in your life that you believe is the correct choice or for the good of others.

Major Point One (School)
+constant pressure of college
+comparison from others (family members, people that I do not even know)

Major Point Two (Family)
+situations with father and mother
+how long pressure lasted, or continued.

Conclusion
+change for others, not for oneself.

Essay Planning "Changes"

Topic
+What do/did you have to change to be in CoA? What do you have to change to remain in CoA/The Semester
-My "dream" college/family dream
-My priorities/urgencies
+my job, my friends, my family, my education
-My routines
+morning/afternoon/evening/night

Audience
+The reader: possibly a conversation to the reader
+First person view for a more personal note.

Question to Answer
+What am I doing here?
+Why am I here?
+Should I be here?
+Is it right for me to be here?
+Did I make the right decision?

Key Writing Strategies
+Examples: pressure from families (siblings/expectations/their dreams, not mine)
+Problem and solution: did not get into a university, have to take to alternative by going to community college.
+Cause and effect: what happened after I went to community college?

(I have no bad feelings about being in community college, it is just that I was kind of forced to go to community college.)